Our Deepest Fear

Each of us can have two stories . . . The one we present to our family and friends, the person we desire and strive to be, and the more vulnerable story we sometimes hide . . . on the surface the same, but a story perhaps hidden with unrevealed secrets and unfathomable fears. Each story is a part of who we are. Yet sometimes the undiscovered stories hidden beneath our layers of mistrust, can lead to our deepest fears. If your loved ones discovered your secret inner thoughts and the fears of your youth, would they understand, or would they judge you without wanting to know more or understand? Perhaps there is pain, intermittently hidden, recreated into a new reality, somehow inappropriate for emotional relationships that have been set on a pedestal, desiring to be ideal.

There are secrets that we keep of little consequence, as their discovery would only prove embarrassing or humorous at most. Then there are also the secrets hidden deep within our family history, desirous to break free, yet fearful of reproach. Discovery of a family secret can be devastating to the spirit for a season, with feelings of betrayal and mistrust taking center stage. Sometimes we question the existence of the secret, even when presented with overwhelming evidence . . . denying the painful truth, wondering if instead, it is just a dream--or perhaps a nightmare.

Family secrets, the ones that are seemingly buried deep beneath the innermost places of the soul, the ones lived with, yet convinced public revelation would result in personal destruction if ever divulged, can never stay completely hidden. Somehow they are eventually unearthed, tumbling to the surface like rotting old dinosaur bones that were assumed nonexistent. Remarkably, secrets unearthed from their buried tombs of lies, bring freedom to the spirit! Where confusion dwelt—confidence, strength and courage emerge. Old secrets released lose their energy of importance, becoming powerless to their victims. It’s then we discover, as the secrets are finally revealed, that they were always a cancerous tumor growing on our souls, eating slowly away at the picture perfect facade they tried to portray—keeping us from our true identity, and basking in God’s bright light.

Marianne Williamson's widely acclaimed motivational poem, “Our Deepest Fear,” is in reality not a poem at all, but an excerpt from her book, “A Return to Love.” It has been inspiring people for decades with its profoundly resonating message about our fear of greatness, of standing out from the pack and letting our inner light shine.

 If you've ever felt that paralyzing fear of stepping forward and presenting yourself to public scrutiny, you may have found your first impulse was to label it a ‘fear of failure.’ But in Our Deepest Fear, Marianne Williamson addresses the other side of that feeling. The fear of being better than your peers . . . perhaps even daring to be the best!


Our Deepest Fear has such inspirational power that it has now become a stand-alone mantra for a generation of exceptional individuals who wish to motivate themselves and others to live up to their fullest potential. It is considered to be an anthem for a contemporary generation of positive seekers. It's a powerful message! Enjoy.

Our Deepest Fear

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.

Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.

We ask ourselves, “Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?”

Actually, who are you not to be?

You are a child of God.

Your playing small doesn’t serve the world.

There is nothing enlightened about shrinking

so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.

We are all meant to shine, as children do.

We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.

It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone.

And, as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give

other people permission to do the same.

As we are liberated from our fear,

our presence automatically liberates others.

Taken From “A Return to Love,” By Marianne Williamson

Lyme Disease Awareness Month

The month of May has been proclaimed as Lyme Disease Awareness Month!

As warm weather arrives and people spend more time outdoors, it becomes more important to acknowledge the impact of Lyme disease in our community, especially with the recent events in the Lehi, Utah neighborhood. However, residents who are aware of the threat can easily take steps to protect themselves. I was completely unaware of the existence of this disease 15 years ago when I unsuspectingly crossed paths with this mysterious malady.

Lyme disease is a serious bacterial infection that is commonly misunderstood. There is a widespread misperception that Lyme disease is rare or nonexistent in Utah. However the tick that spreads this disease can be carried by deer, squirrels, rodents, birds or even family pets, which means virtually no place is safe from the potential of infection.

Early indications of infection of Lyme disease can include a bull’s eye rash and flu-like symptoms. If treated immediately and appropriately, Lyme disease can usually be cured. If Lyme disease is misdiagnosed or goes untreated, it can cause long-term health problems, including neurological disorders, memory loss, crippling muscle and joint pain, disabling fatigue, psychological disorders or even death. Inflammation is a “bonfire” produced by the immune system in reaction to allergies, infections, poor diet, chemicals, heavy metals, and intestinal dysbiosis. It is the inflammatory response that produces many of the symptoms of Lyme disease.

Lyme Disease Points to Ponder:
1. Lyme disease is much more common in Utah than people realize.
2. There are documented cases of individuals (and entire families) who contracted Lyme disease while camping in our local mountains.
3. There is a Lyme Disease support group in Utah that meet every month to provide to provide patients and families with support and education.
4. There are VERY FEW Lyme literate healthcare providers in Utah. Many patients are forced to go out of state for treatment.
5. Lyme disease is the most widespread vector-borne disease in the USA and is a major problem worldwide. Ticks know no borders and respect no boundaries. A patient's county of residence does not accurately reflect his or her Lyme disease risk.
6. In 2007, 27,244 cases of Lyme disease were reported to the Center for Disease Control (CDC). That is 2,287 cases per month, 571 cases each week, 77 cases per day, and 3 people each hour.
7. Lyme disease is under-reported. Of the reported cases only approximately 23,000 per year meet the strict criteria. The CDC has gone on record saying that they estimate the official cases reported may be 10% of the total number of cases that would be accepted if all cases were reported, so 230,000 new cases per year is likely the reality.
8. Fewer than 50% of patients with recall a tick bite. In some studies this number is as low as 15% in culture-proven infection with the Lyme spirochete. Adult deer ticks are about the size of sesame seeds.
9. Lyme disease has been frequently misdiagnosed, especially in absence of the rash, as MS, ALS, Chronic Fatigue, Fibromyalgia, Autism, Alzheimer's, Parkinson's and others. Lyme disease is often referred to as “The Great Imitator,” as it can virtually imitate any symptom of any disease.
10. Lyme disease is the most common tick-borne disorder in the United States. Lyme disease can affect the joints, nervous system, heart, skin, and eyes.

Reducing Your Exposure to Ticks—Your Best Defense: 

1. Avoid Tick Infested Areas: Ticks prefer wooded and bushy areas with tall grass and leaf litter. When you do enter tick areas, walk in the middle of trails to avoid contact with overgrown grass, bushes, and leaf litter.

2. Dress Appropriately: Wear long pants, long-sleeve shirts, and long socks to keep ticks off your skin. Wear white or light-colored clothing making it easier to spot ticks. Wear a hat and tie back long hair. Always wear shoes (no bare feet or sandals). Tuck pant legs into socks or boots and tuck shirts into pants to help keep ticks outside of clothing. Taping the area where your pants and socks meet can prevent ticks from crawling under clothes. Do not sit directly on the ground or near stone walls.

3. Tick Repellents: Spray tick repellent on clothes and shoes before entering areas infested with ticks.

4. Check for Ticks: Perform daily tick checks after being outdoors, even in your own yard. You should also inspect your pets. Carefully inspect all parts of your clothing, skin, and body including: armpits, back of the knee, nape of the neck, navel area, scalp, and groin area. Remove any ticks before they become engorged (swollen with blood).



What If I Find a Tick?

1. If you do find a tick imbedded in your skin, do NOT panic. Not all ticks are infected. Infected ticks normally cannot begin transmitting the spirochete (the bacterium that causes Lyme disease infection) until it has been attached for about 36-48 hours.

2. Keep in mind, if you do find a deer tick attached to your skin that has not yet become engorged, it probably has not been there long enough to transmit Lyme disease infection.

3. You should remove a tick immediately! However, improper tick removal increases the chance of the tick transmitting infection. To remove a biting tick, grasp it as close to the skin as possible with fine-pointed tweezers and pull straight out slowly and steadily. Disinfect the bite site and SAVE THE TICK for possible testing. Ticks can be tested easier than humans. 

4. Avoid crushing or squishing the tick's body. Avoid getting tick fluids on your skin.

5. Never use petroleum jelly, mineral oil, matches, nail polish, or other products to remove a tick. Removal methods such as these could actually backfire, causing the tick to excrete or regurgitate out bacteria.

When to Take Antibiotics: (If you answer “yes” to any of the following questions.)

1. Were you in an area where Lyme disease is common when you acquired the tick bite?

2. Was the tick attached for at least one full day?

3. Has it been less than three days since you removed the tick or since it fell off?

4. Do you feel strangely tired, flu-like, or achy all over since you were bitten?

A Big Fish!

My Dad—The Brad Pitt, “River Runs Through It” of his Day!

Dad’s Big Fish

Today is my father’s 88th Birthday. Dad could be referred to as “a big fish” in the little fishbowl of life. He has always loved to fish. While my mother has always had deep faith and a connection to the preexsistence, giving her children spiritual roots, my father has always been connected to the beauty of God’s rich earth. He has given us laughter with his dry sense of humor. Together they have given us the strength to endure the hardships and sorrows of life that have come to our family in numerous ways.

As a child, Dad made toy rabbits from the red clay soil near the river by his Logan, Utah home. As an adult, he enjoyed the splendor of his earthly home through gardening, landscaping, cement mixing, carpentry, and raising multitudes of animals such as rabbits, chickens, horses and cows. Dad was a master sportsman in his younger years, enjoying hunting, fishing, snow skiing, and water skiing. In the early days of water skiing he mastered jumping off the dock on one ski and holding the ski rope in his toe and in his teeth! If there was a motto Dad has always subscribed to in this life it would probably be, “Work, Work, Work!” He has always worked hard and been an excellent provider. Work has been his play.

High priority on my dad’s list of talents has been his lifetime love of fishing. Fishing, and his great love for the sport, has soared foremost above all of his other passions and interests. He and his father and two brothers more than likely fished every fishing hole from Utah to Wyoming. His delightful tall tales of the biggest fish that got away and his other fish related adventures, will forever bring a smile to those of us who love him dearly.

Now in the declining years of their lives, my parents have new challenges and trials that must be faced. Yet, as we search for answers and wonder why, we are reminded of the legacy of strength we have been given to endure to the end. My father has always been a simple man, completely honest, hardworking, and faithful. He is one of God’s finest, a true and noble Son of God.

My mother always said she could write a book about my father’s tall tales and amusing anecdotes about life, but she could never really capture his true essence. Instead, following a life threatening illness of her own, she used her recuperation time to recreate and write down a few chapters of Dad’s life. Gratefully, she has given them to me to share with their posterity when the time comes.

I have tender feelings for my dad—truly a big fish in his daughter’s eyes. Because of my limited mobility and health challenges I am unable to physically visit him. However, from the comments of my children and other family members who have visited him, I am aware of my father’s present condition following a stroke—a limited concept of time and places, and a mental challenge, bordering somewhere between Alzheimers and dementia. But even though he cannot remember everything in his past and has difficulty communicating, I believe his spirit is fully aware of what is going on around him. I know his spirit responds to those who love him as they visit, with a spirit to spirit connection. His granddaughter, Ashley said, “His eyes light up when his family enters the room. Even though he is pleasant and kind to his caregivers, it is obvious he feels a spirit to spirit connection when his family is there.”

When my mother had her stroke—one she miraculously recovered from—she experienced conversations that could only be explained as spirit to spirit dialog. Although she was unable to talk and others were not talking directly to her, she remembers very specific conversations she had with others in the room—a “spirit to spirit” connection.

Last year on Father’s Day, my sister’s and I decided to send my dad an ipod, fully loaded with his favorite coyboy music, hoping to stimulate his mind and bring him joy. How much of the music he actually remembered is unclear, but he felt the love connection given through his spirit . . . of this I am certain. When he took the telephone to try and express his thanks, he was overcome with sweet emotion, unable to speak any words at all. He said my name, and then just cried. In that moment we had a spirit to spirit connection and words were unneccessary. I felt his love and I knew he felt a daughter’s love for him. Filling my father’s ipod with music, researching his era of old songs, was truly a gift to me—bringing my father back home to me. As a kid I didn’t care for the country twang of his old favorites, but when rediscovering them again, I relished in memories of days gone by, reliving the music he loved to sing on his guitar. I still smile thinking about it and keep his favorites on my own ipod. “There was blood on the saddle, and blood all around . . . And a great big puddle of blood on the ground!” (Tex Ritter)

I know there will be a missing piece in our hearts when Dad hangs up his final ‘Gone Fishin’ sign and returns to his Heavenly home and his Savior, fisher of men. Surely there is a great mansion prepared there for such a man of love and strength, where he can continue his great work among men, a new fish in a Heavenly sea.

A Fisherman's Prayer

I pray that I may live to fish, 
Until my dying day.

And when it comes to my last cast,

I then most humbly pray:

When in the Lord's great landing net,

And peacefully asleep,

That in His mercy I be judged,

Big enough to keep!

“Love you Dad. Happy Birthday!”

Got Thyme? You Need It!

“Happy Earth Day” (April 22) 

Think "green" when you clean—make a natural cleaning solution with dōTERRA Thyme essential oil.

Homemade Eco-friendly Cleaner with Thyme:
1. Fill a spray bottle with two cups of water.
2. Add 25 drops dōTERRA Thyme essential oil.
3. Add 2 tsp. Castile (natural soap).
4. Use on hard-to-clean bathroom and kitchen surfaces.

Did you know that researchers at the Technological Educational Institute of Ionian Islands in Greece tested essential oils against drug-resistant staph (MRSA, aka a super-bug)? Thyme essential oil killed almost all of the bacterium within an hour! (Read the article here.)

Thyme (Thymus vulgaris CT thymol), familiar to most as a common seasoning for cooking, produces an essential oil that has valuable cleansing and clarifying properties. It is also notable for its broad-spectrum activity for winter health. Thyme is considered by many herbalists to be a very nearly perfect herb. It ranks as one of the finest herbs of French cuisine. The general rule of using herbs in cooking is - when in doubt use thyme! dōTERRA’s CPTG Thyme Essential Oil comes from thyme plants grown and harvested in Germany.

How to Use dōTERRA Thyme Essential Oil:
1. Apply topically; dilute thyme with dōTERRA’s fractionated coconut oil before applying, as it may cause skin sensitivity.
2. Diffuse; add 1-2 drops to diffuser. Can be blended with other oils as an air purifier (Lemon or Citrus Bliss is ideal).
3. Add as an ingredient to homemade cleaners for deep cleaning in the home or office.
4. Use internally; dilute and add to a gelatin capsule. Can also be added to foods as a seasoning. (Note: Use a toothpick to swirl in the flavor, not a full drop, as it is very concentrated.)
NOTE: Avoid eye contact when using any essential oils. 

Double the Trouble, Twice the Fun!

Our Twin Surprise

Double the trouble, twice the fun,

Our life with twins had just begun.

Double the hands, twice the feet,

It’s a wonder we ever got any sleep.

Twice the diapers, giggles, and curls,

Double the joy—with two baby girls!

~ By Linda Ottley

Thirty-one years ago on April 21, 1979, we had the surprise of our lives. Twins! Suddenly we went from having two children, to being parents of four children, when two baby girls entered our world all at once! Prior to their birth I’d had a dream that I was on the delivery table and as my baby arrived someone said, “There are two babies.”

As it turned out, my dream was more like a revelation! Following the first birth the doctor said, “The head is little . . . there must be another one!” Amazingly enough, without prior confirmation or benefit of ultrasound, both babies were healthy, weighing in at over seven pounds each! Dale called his mom and teasingly announced we had a 14 lb. 7 oz. baby (their combined birth weight of 7 lb. 3 oz. and 7 lb. 4 oz.).

Having twins back in 1979 was still unusual and we caused quite a commotion in the hospital—especially when the only anesthesiologist was so busy with us that others delivered cold turkey! We caused a ripple of excitement in our families as well. My sister, Judy, who had four little children under six-years-old at the time, called my hospital room to congratulate me saying, “Linda, you had twins . . . I’m so sorry!”

I replied, “Oh, I’m so excited! I’ve always wanted twins!”

“Oh—good then,” she said. “I’m glad it was you. Because if it was me, I’d have slit my wrists!” It still makes me smile remembering.

We decided to name our first born twin, “Rachel”—after my grandmother’s first name, and our second born twin, “Elizabeth”—after Grandma Rachel’s middle name. Two equally beautiful names for two beautiful babies! I remember dressing them to go home—with my husbands help—in matching pink outfits, booties, and blankets . . . lovingly purchased by my sister, Vicki, and my mom. We were laughing and giggling, struggling to dress two wiggling babies, who were screaming their heads off to be nursed! We took them home to their five year old brother, Cord, and their three year old sister, Aleesha—each getting their own baby in their room, no one having to share!

Having twins was a unique and wonderful experience. It changed our lives in numerous ways. We learned to be organized and to work together as a team, changing, burping, and feeding. During the night my sole purpose was to create enough milk to satisfy. I drank tons of water and Raspberry herb tea. Dale was the receiver, getting the “crier” from her crib, changing, burping, and tucking each bundle back in bed. When they began waking up at the same time we discovered the “twin nursing hold,” cradling one baby in each arm. Soon it became the preferred method—affording us more sleep by feeding two at once. I can’t say we were always coherent during our nightly routine, as sometimes in the morning the babies were in the wrong cribs. But everything that cried, ate—of this I am sure. Having twins was a spiritual awakening, realizing my value and God given worth in the kingdom of God, entrusted with two precious spirits at once.

Happy Birthday baby girls. You've added more “sugar and spice” to our lives!

Tuesday dōTERRA Tip!

Every woman with young children knows that flu and cold season turns us into “Doctor Mom” out of necessity! So here’s six essential dōTERRA oils that every Dr. Mom needs to have on hand. It’ll makes waking up in the middle of the night okay, because it won’t be happening for long. Be happy. Stay healthy!

1. On Guard: On Guard helps prevent the onset of illness. Rub 1-2 drops on your feet daily (or diffuse in the air) during flu and cold season to protect and increase the immune system response.

2. Breathe: Respiratory issues are a big concern during the colder months and are an ongoing concern for those with asthma. This wonderful oil blend can be rubbed directly on the chest to relieve breathing and coughs.


3. Lemon: Put 1-3 drops in water to keep the body cleansed, so the immune response can be at it’s best (even children respond well to this).



4. Basil or Oregano: Use these on your feet often when illness occurs. Try these first for any antibiotic needs. Basil is more gentle on the body and a better choice for young children. However, Oregano is a powerful oil for viruses and those nasty winter and springtime germs. Use a good carrier oil, like Fractured Coconut Oil or Olive Oil, when applying Oregano anywhere other than on the feet, as there can be a burning sensation on the skin. Note: For any intense reaction from any essential oil, rub in a carrier oil on top to dilute.


5. Digest-Zen: Stomachaches, nausea, and even heartburn or acid reflux can take its toll. Keep a bottle of Digest-Zen handy all the time. Let your kids rub Digest-Zen on their own tummies and put it in their water if needed—to keep the bowels moving and allow the body to focus on immune response.



6. Deep Blue: It's great to have Deep Blue since we, as parents, frequently encounter sore muscles and pain discomfort, due to everyday activities or chronic conditions. It is now available in an easy to apply roll on too.

Probiotic Suggestion: dōTERRA’s “PB Assist” is an effective probiotic guaranteed to provide a minimum of 1 billion CFUs (colony-forming units) of live bacteria per dose. It is safe for use by all members of your family, keeping good bacteria flourishing in the gut so the body can fight almost anything! Swallow this tiny pill or hide it in a bite of oatmeal or applesauce for small children.

“Remember, the oils don’t fight disease, the oils ‘assist the 
body’ to fight off disease. Use the oils to assist the 
body to do what it was meant to do!” ~ Dr. Hill 

Discover dōTERRA 100% pure therapeutic-grade essential oils. Nature at it's finest, naturally safe. www.mydoterra.com/lindaoils

When I’m An Old Lady

Happy 88th Birthday Mom!

Mom’s Junior Prom Formal

“What is real?” asked the Rabbit, one day when they were lying side by side. “Does it mean hearing things that buzz inside you and a stick out handle?”

“Real isn’t how you’re made,” said the Skin Horse. “It’s a thing that happens to you when a child loves you for a long, long time . . . really loves you, then you become real.”

“Does it hurt?” asked the Rabbit.

“Sometimes,” said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. “When you are real you don’t mind being hurt.”

“Does it happen all at once, like being wound up, or bit by bit?”

“It doesn’t happen all at once. You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or have to be carefully kept. Generally by the time you are real, most of your hair has been loved off and your eyes drop out and you get loose at the joints. But these things don’t matter at all because once you are real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.” ~ Excerpt taken from “The Velveteen Rabbit,” by Margery Williams

* * * * *

Today is my mother’s 88th birthday! She was born in the early years of the twentieth century, living through World War II and the Great Depression. She has buried two of her five children, something parents never expect to do, or should have to do, before they go. She has also been loved by her childhood friend and sweetheart, marrying when they were both at the tender age of 19—young and naive, eager to make their mark in the world and raise a family together. Her talents are numerous—blessing the lives of her children and various grandchildren. Over the years she has spent many late nights sewing new clothes, costumes, prom dresses, bridesmaid’s dresses, and wedding gowns. She has traveled some and seen some far away places, experienced moments of glory and fame, and been loved by her spouse and their posterity. And when all is said and done that is enough. In the famous iconic words of author Nicholas Sparks in “The Notebook,” “I’ve loved another with all my heart and soul, and to me, this has always been enough.”

My mother-in-law gave me this poem many years ago. She was always cheerful and lighthearted and had the ability to find humor in the challenges of an aging body. We miss her. So in celebration of my own mother, who now needs assistance and lives with my older sister, I thought I’d post this very funny poem about aging and living with your kids. Happy Birthday Mom!

“Mother—you may have difficulty seeing and perhaps you’re getting a little loose in the joints when you walk, but like the Velveteen Rabbit, you can never be ugly when you’re loved.”

When I'm An Old Lady

By Joanne Bailey Baxter

When I'm an old lady, I'll live with each kid,

And bring so much happiness just as they did.

I want to pay back all the joy they've provided.

Returning each deed! Oh, they'll be so excited!

When I'm an old lady and live with my kids…

I'll write on the walls with reds, whites, and blues,

And bounce on the furniture—wearing my shoes.

I'll drink from the carton and then leave it out.

I'll stuff all the toilets and oh, how they'll shout!

When I'm an old lady and live with my kids...

When they're on the phone and just out of reach,

I'll get into things like sugar and bleach.

Oh, they'll snap their fingers and then shake their head,

And when that is done, I'll hide under the bed.

When I'm an old lady and live with my kids...

When they cook dinner and call me to eat,

I'll not eat my green beans or salad or meat.

I'll gag on my okra, spill milk on the table,

And when they get angry—I'll run—if I'm able!

When I'm an old lady and live with my kids...

I'll sit close to the TV—through the channels I'll click.

I'll cross both eyes just to see if they stick.

I'll take off my socks and throw one away,

And play in the mud 'til the end of the day!

When I'm an old lady and live with my kids...

And later in bed, I'll lay back and sigh,

I'll thank God in prayer and then close my eyes.

My kids will look down with a smile slowly creeping,

And say with a groan, “She's so sweet when she's sleeping!”

When I'm an old lady and live with my kids!