When I’m An Old Lady

Happy 88th Birthday Mom!

Mom’s Junior Prom Formal

“What is real?” asked the Rabbit, one day when they were lying side by side. “Does it mean hearing things that buzz inside you and a stick out handle?”

“Real isn’t how you’re made,” said the Skin Horse. “It’s a thing that happens to you when a child loves you for a long, long time . . . really loves you, then you become real.”

“Does it hurt?” asked the Rabbit.

“Sometimes,” said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. “When you are real you don’t mind being hurt.”

“Does it happen all at once, like being wound up, or bit by bit?”

“It doesn’t happen all at once. You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or have to be carefully kept. Generally by the time you are real, most of your hair has been loved off and your eyes drop out and you get loose at the joints. But these things don’t matter at all because once you are real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.” ~ Excerpt taken from “The Velveteen Rabbit,” by Margery Williams

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Today is my mother’s 88th birthday! She was born in the early years of the twentieth century, living through World War II and the Great Depression. She has buried two of her five children, something parents never expect to do, or should have to do, before they go. She has also been loved by her childhood friend and sweetheart, marrying when they were both at the tender age of 19—young and naive, eager to make their mark in the world and raise a family together. Her talents are numerous—blessing the lives of her children and various grandchildren. Over the years she has spent many late nights sewing new clothes, costumes, prom dresses, bridesmaid’s dresses, and wedding gowns. She has traveled some and seen some far away places, experienced moments of glory and fame, and been loved by her spouse and their posterity. And when all is said and done that is enough. In the famous iconic words of author Nicholas Sparks in “The Notebook,” “I’ve loved another with all my heart and soul, and to me, this has always been enough.”

My mother-in-law gave me this poem many years ago. She was always cheerful and lighthearted and had the ability to find humor in the challenges of an aging body. We miss her. So in celebration of my own mother, who now needs assistance and lives with my older sister, I thought I’d post this very funny poem about aging and living with your kids. Happy Birthday Mom!

“Mother—you may have difficulty seeing and perhaps you’re getting a little loose in the joints when you walk, but like the Velveteen Rabbit, you can never be ugly when you’re loved.”

When I'm An Old Lady

By Joanne Bailey Baxter

When I'm an old lady, I'll live with each kid,

And bring so much happiness just as they did.

I want to pay back all the joy they've provided.

Returning each deed! Oh, they'll be so excited!

When I'm an old lady and live with my kids…

I'll write on the walls with reds, whites, and blues,

And bounce on the furniture—wearing my shoes.

I'll drink from the carton and then leave it out.

I'll stuff all the toilets and oh, how they'll shout!

When I'm an old lady and live with my kids...

When they're on the phone and just out of reach,

I'll get into things like sugar and bleach.

Oh, they'll snap their fingers and then shake their head,

And when that is done, I'll hide under the bed.

When I'm an old lady and live with my kids...

When they cook dinner and call me to eat,

I'll not eat my green beans or salad or meat.

I'll gag on my okra, spill milk on the table,

And when they get angry—I'll run—if I'm able!

When I'm an old lady and live with my kids...

I'll sit close to the TV—through the channels I'll click.

I'll cross both eyes just to see if they stick.

I'll take off my socks and throw one away,

And play in the mud 'til the end of the day!

When I'm an old lady and live with my kids...

And later in bed, I'll lay back and sigh,

I'll thank God in prayer and then close my eyes.

My kids will look down with a smile slowly creeping,

And say with a groan, “She's so sweet when she's sleeping!”

When I'm an old lady and live with my kids!