Friends Are Family You Choose

There is an old idiom that says, “Birds of a feather flock together,” meaning that people who are a lot alike tend to become friends. We grow up as part of a family and no matter what kinds of relationships existed there, ultimately our family structure becomes the yardstick wherein we measure our lives, consciously or unconsciously. If we are nurtured and loved, we are able to spread our wings and fly away like baby birds leaving the nest, independent of our parents. In the best of scenarios our family members can also become our life long friends. However the friends we choose along life’s path can also become our family. Friends are family you choose for yourself!

Recently I got a call from a former high school classmate informing me of our approaching fortieth class reunion. I was asked to go to the newly created class reunion website, to sign-in with an updated picture and profile of what I’d been doing, since way back when. After I recovered from the realization that forty whole years had passed since those carefree days, I checked out the website, mostly out of curiosity. I took a quiz to find out how much I remembered and was pleasantly surprised how the memories came flooding back. I hadn’t really thought about my high school days in years. I read a few profiles, halfheartedly looking for a long lost friend or two, and then submitted my own updated profile, signing the guest-book. To my surprise, three friends I grew up with contacted me to say, hello!

My friend, Colleen, was a pleasant surprise, one I’d not been expecting. Colleen’s family had moved away before our senior year and she was unable to graduate with us. We had all gathered after graduation for a senior trip to my parent’s Bear Lake cabin, but other than that we had completely lost track of one another. Now our periodic emails have become cherished moments of formerly lost or misplaced memories. They have also brought new discoveries as both of us have realized just how much we have in common. Our lives have taken different paths, with different challenges, yet each journey has discovered similar truths. We share similar values and similar joys, sharing a love of literature and the written word.

I find myself wondering why Colleen and I were not better friends as children, when we obviously share so many interests? Interestingly we lived one street apart from each other, and as children often do, we played only with those friends on our individual streets. Now I have discovered my long ago friend again and that discovery has enriched my life like a new sibling introduced into my family!

I had a misconception as a teenager that girlfriends could not be trusted confidants, consequently preferring boyfriends most of the time. I was careful with the secrets and inner thoughts I shared with my girlfriends, having somehow concluded that girls tended to betray your trust, especially when boys were involved. Girls could be kind to your face, turning a jealous eye when you weren't looking, or so I misjudged, perhaps missing out on relationships that may have enriched my life back then.

I love this quote I’ve kept over the years by an unknown author: “I believe in angels, the kind Heaven sends. I am surrounded by angels, but I call them my best friends.” 
Friends have come and gone out of my life. Some remain “forever friends,” even though distance makes them impossible to see. I have discovered that when we truly care about people it doesn’t matter how often we can physically see them, because we are always encircled in that love we’ve shared, and when we are reunited again, it is like old times!

Friends are family too. We can discover them within our neighborhoods, work places, religious association, or in our communities. They are like quiet angels who sit on our shoulders, lifting our wings, when we forget how to fly. Like this unknown author said, “The best part of life is when your family becomes your friends, and your friends become your family.” ~ Danica Whitfield

A REASON, A SEASON, A LIFETIME
By Brian Andrew “Drew” Chalker



People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. When you figure out which it is, you know exactly what to do!



When someone is in your life for a REASON . . . It is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend, and they are! They are there for the reason you need them to be.



Then, without any wrongdoing on your part, or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.



What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered. And now it is time to move on.



When people come into your life for a SEASON . . . It is usually because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They bring you an experience of peace, or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real. But only for a season.



LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons; things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person, and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant. 



People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. When you figure out which it is, you know exactly what to do!