We All Merge at Grand Central Station

Many years ago my husband, Dale and I were in Switzerland, where after touring the city we ended up in a large and spacious building appropriately named, “Grand Central Station.” It was the central terminal where all incoming and outgoing trains throughout that part of Europe met together. At certain times of the day the terminal was quiet and serene, while during other moments throughout the day, the station was noisy, bustling with the activity of hurried travelers trying to get to their various destinations. As we watched the interesting varied action surrounding the station I suddenly had one of those Oprah light bulb moments, connecting the old clique saying of “Grand Central Station” with it’s origin.

Sometimes my house is peaceful and tranquil and I am alone with my thoughts plunking away at my computer. However, sometimes my house is like Grand Central Station, a flurry of noise and confusion as our children and their crazies (a loving term I use in reference to my energetic, delightfully funny grandchildren) come and go. On at least one day each month we all meet together at one central point to celebrate birthdays. That point, our home, has become the equivalent of Grand Central Station!

During the last couple of weeks my 87-year-old parents made the brave decision to sell their home and move into assisted living. My mother has been my father’s main caretaker and now we are hopeful she can leave behind the mandate tasks of cooking and cleaning and that together they can live out the remainder of their days in peaceful harmony. As my sisters and I have helped with their decisions it has never been more apparent that each of us are distinctive individuals, with different personalities, gifts and opinions. Each of us have had different experiences with our parents and with those experiences come diverse feelings and emotions. Yet each sibling has heart felt love, desiring our parent’s best interest, when all is said and done.

As families we are bound by love. Like the trains in the station we all leave home, navigating our own paths and destinations. As we try to plot a course and find our way we sometimes clash and differ in our opinions, letting anger and pride get in the way of the most important relationships we have. Yet eventually we must come together at one central station for the good of all.

Years ago I lashed out in anger at my older sister Vicki. I blew something small out of proportion and let years of unspoken buried feelings come tumbling forth. I didn’t speak to her for three months. I wanted to punish her for being a less the perfect individual, having idealistically placed her on an unrealistic pedestal all my life. I regret my unkind words terribly to this day and wonder if she will truly ever trust my unconditional love for her. I have admired her strength and courage during insurmountable challenges all my life. She has only given me love since I was a little baby, placed in the arms of my nine-year-old big sister.

Ella Wheeler Wilcox, the American poet, probably wrote from personal experience when she said: “One great truth in life I’ve found, the only folks we really wound are those we love the best.” It seems ironic, but it is true that by a careless word or a thoughtless or selfish act we do the most harm to those who are most precious to us. If we don’t do something to correct the problem, our most valued relationships can be permanently damaged.

The key to repairing much of the hurt can be summed up in two words, “I’m sorry.” Life is too short and friendships are too few to waste time fighting or holding a grudge when an apology will set things right. It has been said that, “Being unwilling to forgive is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die!” It’s so true!

Like trains coming together in Grand Central Station we must all come together in love as well. We must learn to understand each other, cherishing our differences, and use our different skills and opinions to help one another find his or her destination. Perhaps county music singer, Jimmy Dean, said it best when he stated, “I can't change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination.”

My all time favorite quote is by Walt Disney, a true example of merging together and moving forward. He said, “Around here, we don’t look backwards for very long. We keep moving forward, opening up new doors and doing new things . . . and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths.” I’m happy to be living in the middle of Grand Central Station, in a world of amazing technology, constantly being exposed to new knowledge, people and ideas!