Fortunately, we don’t need 600 Facebook friends or a jam-packed social calendar to reap these impressive perks (in fact both can backfire). [I tend to humorously agree with actress and comedian, Betty White, when she hosted Saturday Night Live. She thanked everyone that voted for her to guest host, admitting she hadn’t even known what Facebook was. She said, “And now that I do, I have to admit––it sounds like a huge waste of time!”]
Research shows the following “Eight Types of Friendships” are especially important for our health. In an article in Prevention Magazine, editors explained how these buddies will give your health a boost!
1. A CHILDHOOD FRIEND: A childhood friend can still remember the boy-crazy, artistic girl you were at 16. She knew you and your family while you were growing up and likely has many memories and stories of you that no one else does. "These friends remind you that you are still the person you've always been," says Rebecca G. Adams, PhD, a leading friendship researcher and sociology professor at the University of North Carolina.
2. A NEW FRIEND: Newly acquired pals have no preconceived notions about you. "As we get older, we can fall into ruts," says Pamela McLean, PhD, a psychologist in Santa Barbara, CA. "New friends ignite different kinds of thinking and fresh ways of being."
3. A WORKOUT FRIEND: Experts agree that exercising — whether walking, golfing, or salsa dancing — is one of the most important things you can do for your physical and mental health and longevity. And a good friend may be the glue that makes this healthy habit stick. A University of Connecticut study of 189 women, ages 59 to 78, found that strong social support was key to maintaining a new exercise regimen for 1 year.
4. A SPIRITUAL FRIEND: Research shows that being part of a spiritual community helps people stay resilient. A study from Duke University Medical Center found that people who regularly attended religious services or engaged in activities such as prayer, meditation, or Bible study, had a 50% lower risk of dying over a 6-year period than others of the same age and health status.
5. A YOUNGER FRIEND: Research shows that an essential element of a happy life is to nurture and feel useful to others—by cooking a wholesome meal, say, or passing on what you've learned through experience. For many women, that itch gets scratched by raising children. But mentoring younger friends can give you that same feeling. A younger confidante can explain the social networking site du jour or offer a fresh take on current events.
6. YOUR PARTNER'S FRIENDS: Becoming tight with your husband’s pals is good for your marriage. The more a couple's family and friends intermingle, the happier spouses are after even just 1 year of marriage, found one study that examined the social circles of 347 couples. "We were surprised," says researcher Kenneth Leonard, PhD, a professor of clinical psychology at SUNY Buffalo. "Including your spouse in your network of friends is nearly as important for marital happiness as making them feel they are a part of your family."
7. YOUR MOM: About 85% of adult women say they have a good relationship with their mother, according to a Pennsylvania State University study. Despite the inevitable conflicts between grown moms and daughters, the relationships are generally strong, supportive, and close. "There is great value in this bond because mothers and daughters care so much for one another," says study author Karen L. Fingerman, PhD. If you’d like to be closer but run into the same roadblocks over and over, here’s some advice to overcome the most common issues.
• You find it hard to enjoy time with mom: Stop trying to change her, and focus on what you do enjoy, says Fingerman.
• You keep clashing over the same old issues: The women who had the strongest relationships didn't take the conflicts personally. Instead, they tended to see criticism as a reflection of their mother's habits or traits.
• The relationship feels too close for comfort: Daughters who did the best with this accepted that their mothers wanted more time together. Instead of telling their moms what they couldn't do, these daughters focused on when they could get together and what they could do for their mothers.
8. YOURSELF: As women, we often drop everything to help a friend in need, but often don’t pay ourselves the same respect. So, how does one befriend herself, exactly? It starts with self-knowledge, says Prevention advisor Pamela Peeke, MD, MPH, an assistant clinical professor of medicine at the University of Maryland. “Getting to know yourself is an amazing adventure,” she says. “Think of what makes you fall in love with someone: how genuine, sincere, and caring they can be; the unconditional love they offer, no matter what. Doesn't that describe how you should feel about yourself?” Peeke recommends you repeat the following mantra as a reminder: "I love and honor myself as I do the other important people in my life." To give yourself the TLC you deserve, write down seven things that make you feel happy and healthy (cooking dinner, talking to a friend, running, reading a book), and make sure you do at least one every day! ~ Excerpts taken from Prevention Magazine
“To heal our world, we must heal our families!” ~ Stephen Covey
“Blood is not thicker than water. Your family is—the people who love you when you need them.” ~ Investigator Troy Dunn
“The most powerful Being in the universe is the Father of your spirit. He knows you. He loves you with a perfect love . . . God sees you not only as a mortal being on a small planet who lives for a brief season—He sees you as His child. He sees you as the being you are capable and designed to become. He wants you to know that you matter to Him.” ~ Dieter F. Uchtdorf (“You Matter to Him,” Oct 2011 General Conference)
